Losing Her to The Man She Lost
by IfEverythingElseTurnsToDirt
Summary: He would lie next to her every night, hoping for once that she could love him the way she used to. He had loved her with his whole heart and all he had gotten in return were empty promises and tragic memories.     Multi-Chapter story
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, Readers. This will be my first attempt at a Finn/Rachel story and I admit I am a little nervous. I manage to not freak out knowing that I will eventually add in more characters throughout this process. So, bear with me.**

**I do not own Glee, but I wish I did.**

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><p>He would lie next to her every night, hoping for once that she could love him the way she used to. He didn't understand where he went wrong or where he was at fault. He had loved her with his whole heart and all he had gotten in return were empty promises and tragic memories. They had been together for about 10 years now, they were high school sweethearts. They looked happy to the outside world, but the truth lay behind the walls of their home. These walls hid the pain they both caused each other and would continue to inflict.<p>

He had given her all he had, but it never seemed to be enough. He had longed to ask her what had caused the demise of their marriage. He was foolish, he new that she never accepted his affections because, she stilled love _him._

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><p><strong>I hope for reviews and I'll try to complete the next chapter in the next few days. Hope you guys enjoyed the preview.<strong>

**PLEASE REVIEW! It would make my day and manage to stitch up some of the pieces of Finn's broken heart.**


	2. Chapter 2

** Sooooooo I just added a little more to the preview and hope you enjoy. I'm not sure when I can next update, but I will try to attempt soon.**

**Once more, I do not own Glee, but I wish I did.**

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><p>He would lie next to her every night, hoping for once that she could love him the way she used to. He didn't understand where he went wrong or where he was at fault. He had loved her with his whole heart and all he had gotten in return were empty promises and tragic memories. They had been together for about 10 years now, they were high school sweethearts. They looked happy to the outside world, but the truth lay behind the walls of their home. These walls hid the pain they both caused each other and would continue to inflict.<p>

He had given her all he had, but it never seemed to be enough. He had longed to ask her what had caused the demise of their marriage. He was foolish, he new that she never accepted his affections because, she stilled love _Jesse._

He couldn't pinpoint the moment she had fallen out of love with him, but he could think of more than one reason why she could. He regretted the moment he had shared his dreams and aspirations with her because, she had lost hers along the way. Maybe, if he had persuaded her into pursuing her dreams all those years ago she would still love him. He wanted to believe, he wanted to know that Rachel would never have left him even if she crossed passed with Jesse once more.

Yet, as he thinks that the best for Rachel was staying in Lima with him, Finn knows that she will always resent him for forcing her to forget her dreams. He wanted to let her go, he yearned that she would, but the circumstances had changed. There was more history between them than a history book could ever tell. There were memories he never wanted to let go of and he had asked, no, begged her to stay. She had gotten into her dream school and she was ready to reach the stars, ready to finally become one. He needed to let her go, but Rachel was his everything. So, when he got down on one knee on Graduation day there was no doubt in his mind that he wanted spend the rest of his life with her. She was shocked at the action, she had taken a step away from him, and she took what seemed like a lifetime to answer. His heart broke the moment he saw the sadness that flooded her eyes. And the seams of his heart began to slowly rip as she said yes, as a single tear rolled down her face.

When the word left Rachel's mouth it was filled with sorrow and a hint of regret. He had gotten to keep her, but he never anticipated how in that moment he had begun to lose her. He had been oblivious to her demands, to her hopes, and her dreams. he never demonstrated to her how broken he was over having manipulated her in such a way and he never would. They had been in a prolonged state of bliss while planning their wedding and those were the moments in which they couldn't have been happier. Rachel, was all Finn had ever hoped to find in a woman. Rachel was dedicated, she was smart, she was caring, she was beautiful inside and out, she was what any man would dream of and he had the pleasure of calling her his. They day of their wedding everything seemed to go wrong, at least, in Rachel's eyes. She drew a diva fit and everyone but the wedding planner seemed unfazed by the action. He hadn't seen even a small glimpse of her until the doors opened to reveal his beautiful bride. She looked radiant in her strapless ball gown that floated with layer after layer of intricate lace applique, it was a swirling pleated skirt and a black bow encircled her waist. He had never seen her look more gorgeous than she did now. A smile crept onto his face and it slowly became a wide set grin. She floated down the aisle and the closer she got, the more nervous he became. This was it, the moment that the past 3 years had been leading to, the moment that would define a milestone in both of their lives. They looked happy, the looked beautiful together. It was difficult to believe there had ever been a moment in which they hadn't been in love with each other. In the audience, family and friends smiled at the couple standing at the alter, knowing that they were both in good hands now. The ceremony was beautiful and when the time came to utter those two words, he couldn't have been more delighted. She was his as he was hers and nothing, no one would ever change that.

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><p><strong>Hope you liked what I added and as the story progresses I hope to find a way to add in Kurt, Blaine, Quinn, and Puck.<strong>

**Jesse will pop up somewhere, I don't know when, but the story will take its course.**

**REVIEWS, please. **

**Thanks to all who reviewed on my first post :D**

**Again, I do not own Glee.**

**Thanks to you all **

**sincerely, IfEverythingElseTurnsToDirt ;D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay so I finally had the time to write the next chapter in this story.**

**I don't really like how Rachel came out seeming really inconsiderate about Finn and his feelings, but I think that maybe she might have the right to feel this. **

**Other than that we obviously know I do not own anything but the plot soo yeaah.**

**I Hope you enjoy the story and please review :D**

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><p>The thought of leaving Finn had never truly occurred to her until the day he had proposed. She knew that she was partly guilty to the pain that they both went through on a daily basis. It hurt her to know that she had lied to him and married him without love. She knew that he deserved so much more than she could or ever would offer him, but what was done was done. It seems a little callous of her to view their marriage as a mistake, as something that she would regret for the rest of her life, but she couldn't control her emotions. Maybe, she was selfish for regarding her pain as the only significant emotion in their relationship, but he had caused her so much more pain that she was causing him now. If she left Finn, she would be regarded as the treacherous woman that broke his heart. She couldn't deal with that, but she longed so much to run away from the prison that their marriage had become.<p>

She had tried, she really had. She couldn't be happy with Finn at her side and she would never give him what he wanted out of their marriage. FInn had always wanted to have children and it was something that she was adamant about. She could not bring a child into a home where she would resent them for the rest of their life. She resented Finn for the simply act of giving here an ultimatum. She hated ever having compromised with him, she didn't want to marry him and be stuck in Lima for the rest of her life, but she had loved him then or she had at least believed she had. It took here 10 seconds to notice that her happiness never really belonged with Finn, especially not here in Ohio. She hated Ohio, she had worked her whole life to escape the black hole that was known as Lima, Ohio. God, she hated it here and she longed to escape, but she couldn't not now, not ever. She wouldn't be able to leave until the moment she spoke truthfully and honestly with Finn.

She loved him, but not the way they both wanted her to. She had spoken to Kurt about her feelings about 3 years ago and he had urged her that if she wasn't happy that she should simply end the marriage. She was amazed by the confession her husbands stepbrother had made, it was the last thing she had expected form Kurt, but he was always there to support whatever decision she made. It was moments like those when she would regret not leaving with Kurt to NYADA and leaving Finn far behind. She had longed for New York her whole life, she wanted to one day see her name in lights along Broadway and that day would come, she told herself that everyday for the past 10 years.

If only she had listened to Jesse, it was the only secret she had ever kept from Kurt. Jesse, had visited her the day they won Nationals 2012, he had told her that she should leave Finn, but she wouldn't listen. He had asked her for another chance, that if she ever did attend NYADA in the near future that maybe they should have dinner sometime. She had smiled at him, shook her head and told him that her attending NYADA was inevitability and that their meeting was as well. She regrets ever saying those words to him because, it was a silent promise that she had never kept. It killed her to think that she had risen his hopes once more. On a late night conversation with Kurt she had asked if he had ever bumped into Jesse and Kurt said he had. He said that Jesse had been doing well, an amazing actor that mostly did plays and not actual musical theater on Broadway. He had won 3 Tony's in the past 8 years he had been active. She was happy for him and told Kurt to tell him congratulations from her part. It was then that Kurt had told her the news of his engagement, she had wanted to here no more of the subject of Jesse St. James since that day, but it was rather impossible since Blaine, had become one of St. James best friends. At first, her reaction had puzzled her, she had asked herself why his engagement had wounded her so badly. She soon realized that his words exactly 8 years ago has settled somewhere deeply within her heart. Maybe she had not wanted to admit to herself that the previous year before Nationals when Jesse had come back for her had impacted her greatly, she had loved Jesse with all her heart 12 years ago, but she couldn't imagine that those feeling still lay there underneath. She struggled with the thought that she could still possibly love him for the longest time and it was when she realized that her love for him had never truly disappeared that she had begun the long journey of distancing herself from the man she hated to call her husband. She had a few days before decide that she would take on the task of asking Finn for a divorce because, honestly she simply could not live this way anymore. She would leave to New York the one place she had always longed to ever be, but it pained her to know that Jesse would not be there awaiting her. She would never have her fairytale ending as she had always hoped for since she was a child, but she had never truly been a conventional human being to begin with.

The things Kurt would never tell her were that Jesse never did get married and that he knew she loved him still. Loved him more than they could both ever truly realize, Rachel was blind or maybe just afraid, but love Jesse she did and Kurt had always know...

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading and PLEASE REVIEW because, I write to attempt to entertain you readers and I need input. :D<strong>


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